Suffering Cracks the Shell

An Invitation into Scarification

Mar 10, 2025

The world feels heavy right now. Wars rage on, communities are shattered by violence, natural disasters devastate entire regions, and people are displaced, grieving, and afraid. On top of this, we carry our own personal losses: fractured relationships, chronic illness, financial instability, or the ache of dreams deferred. It feels like wave after wave of hardship is crashing over us, and we can’t catch our breath.

Maybe you feel like your heart has cracked wide open. Maybe you feel numb. Either way, suffering has a way of exposing us—revealing our deepest wounds and longings.

Yet, I believe when we allow Jesus to slow us down and uncover these losses in His presence, He can heal us and even transform us through them. He can make us something new.

This series, Seeds of Hope, is based off a collection of paintings and writing I created in response to some significant pain and loss in my own life. But, after coming out of that season, I realized there are some common themes among seasons of loss and waiting.

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The Potential of a Seed

The image God gave me during that time was the journey a seed takes under the soil, where we cannot see. Hope is like that. It is like a seed cast into the ground, where you have to wait and hope that God is doing something beneath the surface in the darkness.

But the beautiful thing about seeds is that they have incredible potential. I’m sure you’ve heard the expression, “within every seed is a forest.” Ralph Waldo Emerson says it this way:

"The creation of a thousand forests is in one acorn"
- Ralph Waldo Emerson.

Within a single seed holds the potential for thousands of generations of life. But what is the journey a seed takes in order to become what it was created to be? Jesus tells us in his famous words, “Very truly I tell you, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds.” – John 12:23-24

Jesus said these words in anticipation of the Cross. Recently, I spent time researching the literal transformation of a seed, and I found His words were far richer than I could have imagined.

Scarification

In order for a seed to germinate, it must go through what gardeners call “scarification.” This process breaks down the hard shell through external conflict: freezing and thawing, fire, or even digestion by animals. Only then can water seep into the cracks and awaken the life inside. The shell swells, breaks, and the seedling explodes out of its former shape.

Sound familiar? When our lives are torn apart by conflict, grief, and trauma, it feels like we are dying. And in a way, we are. Jesus said this is how it’s supposed to happen. The seed must break open before it can grow and multiply.

Suffering Cracks the Shell

The start of 2025 has been brutal. The wildfires in LA that devastated thousands, Political leaders abusing their power, wars, humanitarian crises, and global instability weigh on us. Every news headline feels like another CRACK in our collective shell.

Maybe your personal life mirrors this breaking:

You’ve been battling depression and anxiety. CRACK.
You lost a loved one to cancer or suicide. CRACK
Across the world, you see the rubble of war and lives being lost to violence in Gaza and Ukraine. CRACK.
In California, you see thousands fleeing their homes to escape forest fires. CRACK.
You feel helpless watching others suffer, unsure how to make a difference. CRACK.

The pain is real. But beneath the grief, something stirs in the darkness.

Awakening to Our Dreams Through Loss

The explosion of violence, injustice, and devastation at the start of the year has perhaps awakened us to our deepest longings for peace. Before disaster struck, maybe we didn’t know how deeply we loved our communities. Before the world fractured again, maybe we didn’t realize how much we yearned for justice.

Loss has a way of waking us up to what we truly desire. It strips away illusions and points to our deepest longings: for love, safety, belonging, and a restored world. These desires are not accidental. They echo God’s original design for creation and His promise to make all things new.

What if the ache, the loss, the disappointment is what cracks us open to grow into the people we were created to be? The world we were created to be?

Reflect

What desires are surfacing in your heart through all the suffering around you? Think both of your personal life and the world.
What hope is quietly rising beneath your grief? What longing is singing beneath your sorrow?
Write down the dreams that are emerging. Even the ones that feel impossible.

Where have you been cracked open during this season?

A Prayer:

Jesus, beneath all of my tears and disappointments are desires that are unfulfilled. You are cracking me open, and I feel vulnerable and exposed. Help me to see what is hidden beneath all my pain and disappointment. Show me the dreams that are still hidden within. Could you shed light on them and redeem and restore them? Could you redeem and restore this broken world?

Amen.

In this blog series, we are going to take a deep dive into ways God transforms us through suffering. Are you ready to take a step to surrender to God in the soil? Do you want someone to walk with you through that process?

If so, go ahead and subscribe below and I’ll send you each step into your inbox. I can’t wait to start this journey with you.

We are in a series called Seeds of Hope during Lent. Did you miss the last few posts? Catch up below…