This week, we’ve been talking about how a trellis mirrors what St. Benedict called a Rule of Life. The Latin word we translate as “rule,” regula, referred to a straight piece of wood and carried strong associations with a vineyard trellis. See Monday’s post for reference.
A Rule of Life is a framework of daily, weekly, and seasonal rhythms that tether us to Christ, the True Vine. Like vines, without intentional structure, we risk sprawling in every direction, entangled in distraction and driven by external pressure rather than rooted in love.
A Rule of Life is is a support structure for abiding.
It is intentional, but flexible.
Structured, but spacious.
Strong, but supportive.
This is not about putting more on your calendar.
It’s about surrendering to the loving hands of the Vinedresser as he connects you to rhythms that support your growth.
Creating a Trellis for Flourishing
In pruning, the Vinedresser sets the intention of the Vine—guiding where it will grow.
As we create a Rule of Life, we are asking:
What structure will support healthy growth over time?
Creating a Rule of Life can sometimes feel constraining. To some, it can seem like a list of rules to obey or a checklist of tasks to be “successful” in faith.
But, that is a productivity-driven approach to a Rule of Life.
This guide is not about maximizing your productivity for God or giving you rules to follow to “be fruitful.” It is about creating a structure that stabilizes and lifts you up so you can grow, flourish, and bear lasting fruit.
A flourishing approach to a Rule of Life asks:
Who is God already shaping me to be?
What rhythms will help grow into that person?
How can I stay relationally connected to God and others in a way that leads to flourishing and fruitfulness?
Your Trellis, Your Season
A Rule of Life isn’t about adding more.
It’s about aligning what already matters.
It should:
feel life-giving
honor your capacity
reflect your actual season
protect what God is growing
If it creates anxiety, it may be rooted in striving.
If it creates peace, it’s likely rooted in love.
You are not building a ladder to climb.
You are building a structure that holds you in love.
What If You Built This Together?
Recently, I decided to try this out with our family.
Instead of each of us creating our own Rule of Life individually, we gathered around the table with sticky notes and asked:
Who do we want to become as a family?
What makes us unique?
We organized everything into three simple categories:
Belovedness (our relationship with God)
Belonging (our relationship with one another)
Blessing (our relationship with others outside our home)
And then we began to dream:
What rhythms might help us actually live into that?
Then we asked:
What would daily, weekly, seasonal, and yearly rhythms look like that support this kind of becoming?
It wasn’t perfect.
It wasn’t polished.
But it was alive. And it was us.
And maybe that’s the point.
Want to Build Your Own Rule of Life?
Below, I’ve created a guided Rule of Life Workbook (PDF) that walks you step-by-step through:
Clarifying your “Becoming Vision”
Naming rhythms for Belovedness, Belonging, and Blessing
Mapping daily, weekly, and seasonal practices
Identifying boundaries that protect your growth
Drawing your own trellis
Try it as Out with Your Family!
You can also try the approach I did with our family and use sticky notes with this guide as a prompt!
Try it Out for Yourself!
Below is a little sample of the one I started working on for myself!
How to Access the Rule of Life Guide
Paid subscribers: You’ll find this PDF included in your subscription as a special gift below.
Not a subscriber yet? You can purchase The Art of Vinemaking Course Series on the Deep and Wide Academy (this resource will be found in Part II: Roots), or upgrade to a paid subscription below to unlock this and other exclusive content below.
Paid subscribers can download the full guide below.
